A Hollow Gift, Afterword

the hollow is showing on the outside

too much is filling this mind

i am regurgitating silence at the yelling and screaming

all i do is hold on

it would be good if my waking hours left me alone

the air leaves my lungs because i can't keep it all in

the hate injects into my veins

feel it right on the surface

i can't get this nothingness out of my gut

---

The emptiness flows throw my veins and the anger echoes,  echoes. Echoes through my ears. Anguish, pain, slows to a hushed angst. The emptiness is fear.

---

the sum of it all bleeds out of me such that any solace is silenced
the silence touches my skin.
indifference, numbness, quickened to a screaming indolence.
the hollow is easier to accept than everything else rushing in.

---

Leaking out through every pore, my silver lining flees. Left with this cavity, my hollow, hollow chest. The stillness of the air feels like a shallow chill, it's easy to accept the void when you're pooling at my feet.

---

pouring into every blood vessel, my black network.
looking down at this black mess in front of me, so much of it was just inside of me.
the mist burns as it flows along my skin, my denial has become intolerable as everything fills my mind.

---

these black clouds are my wings
one more laceration
the lightning stripping flesh
my hand is covered in red
this isn't me
this can't be me
standing over the scene
what have i done
why aren't you sorry
that you left everything behind
so much flesh has come exposed
that gentle air burns
soothing touch aches and i just lash out
i'm not really that good
i'm not really anything
i'm shaking all over
i'm sorry
i left you there
i just ran away
i just couldn't hold on
i slipped away
a hand caught my shoulder
i couldn't turn around
i won't forgive myself